Real Men

I heard an interesting advertisement on Catholic Radio the other day. It began with the question, "When did it become fashionable for men to wear ear rings", and then it went on to question the sense of things like mani/pedis, chest waxing, and wearing aprons in the kitchen. According to their website, they are a group of "lay Catholic men dedicated to becoming the spiritual leaders of our families by strengthening our faith and being real world examples of Christ". They meet, pray, read and study scripture, and (I presume) discuss current events, but they "are not a civic group, or a service group, or a fund raising group". Listening to the advertisement, I was imagining them as a support group for the manly men in our world, the kind who might have been lumber jacks or mountain men in times past, but instead are working to better understand their Christian identities, their love of God, and their devotion to family. Although I don't exactly meet the big and powerful scary dude "real man" criteria I don't want to be seen as soft either, so I'll admit I'm never getting a mani/pedi or a chest waxing or any body piercings; not in this lifetime anyway.

You've probably heard the saying or seen the window sticker, "real men belong on their knees" and I think the Men of St. Joseph would strongly support this idea; and as it turns out I do too! Their group "bolsters discussion of faith and prayer life specifically for men, giving men new ways to reflect upon their lives and be better servants to God and their family". I support their mission “To put the family in the hands of the Father [God]” and their belief that "it is time for men to step up and take a leadership role in guiding their families, friends, parishes and their communities towards Christ and the fullness of His Catholic Church". As a man this should be my mission too, but I'm not sure about the part where men, which I assume means not women, should be dedicated to becoming the spiritual leaders in the home. Although my Grandfather was, my father wasn't, and if it had been that way in my home I wouldn't be Catholic today. I identify myself as Christian because of my mother and I identify myself as Catholic because of wife, and for both of them I am eternally grateful. Not surprisingly, I support the idea that men and women together must be the source of Christian leadership in the home; and obviously if one or the other is not up to the task, then either one is a great second choice.

You also won't be surprised to hear that I was not the Alpha Male in my circle of friends, or the Big Dog on campus, and I'm OK with that. I, and I think everyone else, identifies with the struggle to balance being a father (mother), bread winner, professional, friend, husband (wife), and spiritual leader. Obviously, all of us would benefit from a better "understanding that only with each other's support and shared accountability does it become a little easier". Jesus, a leader in his own home as well as the world, taught us that greatness is found in service; I would identify him as a "real man" who led by love not fear and by compassion not strength, and although he rousted the money changers and sellers in the Temple area, he is remembered as patient, kind, and understanding of everyone. If I were looking for a model of greatness I would certainly chose Him, and His message is Love and Charity for all. I have chosen to live by His example, and most importantly I know that if I surrender my day-to-day problems to Him I will be better a father, a better husband, and a better leader: In short, through Christ, I am a better man.