It was necessary for me to apologize to one of my daughters the day after Christmas, because I upset her when she was trying to tell my wife and I something about her work that was especially interesting to her. My wife is a better listener than I am, and although I was not particularly interested in the subject, allowing myself to become distracted by something on TV got me into trouble. The problem is she took my disinterest in the conversation as a sign that I was not interested in her as a person. The truth is I am very proud of all my daughters, and like all of my daughters I love her unconditionally.
I found an article in the San Jose Mercury News the next week about a preliminary study published by the journal of Nature Neuroscience. Brain scans of 58 volunteers in this study indicated that the bigger the amygdala, the more friends and family the volunteers reported seeing regularly. The amygdala is a small almond shaped mass of gray matter in the anterior portion of the temporal lobe, which is important for socializing. This network of gray matter helps us recognize whether somebody is a stranger or an acquaintance, and a friend or a foe. But the study couldn't suggest if having a bigger amygdala would lead to more friends, or if socializing with a lot of friends created a bigger amygdala.
Actually, I'll admit I am aware that I don’t connect well with people; it’s not something new, it's just hard for me. It would be nice if I could say, “Sorry, my amygdala is just too small to be of any use”, but that would probably be “a cop out”. This is another gentle reminder that I am not perfect, as none of us are. Just in time for this New Year's resolution I've found another quirk that needs immediate work. Unfortunately like everything else in life, to increase the size and health of my amygdala will probably require some form of exercise. That means working on my socialization skills, focusing on common interests, and demonstrating an interest in others by asking more questions. Even if it doesn't help my amygdala, it'll be good for my relationships.
I found an article in the San Jose Mercury News the next week about a preliminary study published by the journal of Nature Neuroscience. Brain scans of 58 volunteers in this study indicated that the bigger the amygdala, the more friends and family the volunteers reported seeing regularly. The amygdala is a small almond shaped mass of gray matter in the anterior portion of the temporal lobe, which is important for socializing. This network of gray matter helps us recognize whether somebody is a stranger or an acquaintance, and a friend or a foe. But the study couldn't suggest if having a bigger amygdala would lead to more friends, or if socializing with a lot of friends created a bigger amygdala.
Actually, I'll admit I am aware that I don’t connect well with people; it’s not something new, it's just hard for me. It would be nice if I could say, “Sorry, my amygdala is just too small to be of any use”, but that would probably be “a cop out”. This is another gentle reminder that I am not perfect, as none of us are. Just in time for this New Year's resolution I've found another quirk that needs immediate work. Unfortunately like everything else in life, to increase the size and health of my amygdala will probably require some form of exercise. That means working on my socialization skills, focusing on common interests, and demonstrating an interest in others by asking more questions. Even if it doesn't help my amygdala, it'll be good for my relationships.
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