Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Sacrament of Marriage

Our class on the Theology of Marriage started without the instructor, so we began by discussing our assigned reading for tonight. Although there is no spiritual basis for marriage, it still makes sense that it should be a sacrament. The relationship between Jesus and church is similar to our relationship between spouses, and even though it has been full of mistakes, the institution of marriage is still intact.

In fact someone pointed out that the Church has referred to marriage as an institution in search of a sacrament. The early church didn't think much about marriage, in the sense that it wasn’t on their mind; marriage pretty much existed outside of the church. Only in the 15th century did the church begin to consider marriage in its own terms.

We are beginning to recognize that the purpose of marriage is no longer strictly intended for procreation. Today it’s more about two people sharing their lives together, as a partnership and as a vocation. One of the students suggested that this idea opens the possibility of same sex marriage.

Once our instructor arrived she began by asking what our marriage questions might be. Of course these questions ranged from same sex marriage, to the focus on procreation vs the focus on relationship. The media’s influence on sexual orientation, the political influence on marriage understanding, and what is expected of marriage. The differences between civil marriage vs sacramental marriage, the early church role and understanding of marriage, multiple marriages, and parish differences regarding marriage requirements. Ultimately, is a loving relationship sufficient for sacrament?

The idea behind Jesus’ admonishment that anyone who divorces another and remarries is guilty of adultery was directed towards men who were in control of divorce. From the beginning the intention was for men and women to be committed. The idea that man and women should become one flesh was intended to declare equality.

Jesus improved the status of women in marriage, and by talking about divorce he leveled the playing field for women. Today annulment means that the elements necessary for sacrament were not present and that the marriage never occurred. The result is officially a “Decree of Nullity” and beleive me, it's a difficult process.

Paul took up the theme of marriage as well. For him, Jesus' covenant with the church is reflected in the covenant between two people. At his time, the Church’s position was that people should not get married, since they expected the immediate return of Jesus. It wasn’t until much later that Augustine showed the way forward for marriage. Eventually when church took over the handling of marriage it adopted much of the Roman law, which was highly developed.

The differences between civil and church understanding is still a problem for marriage. Today there are many places that do not recognize a church marriage, and require a civil marriage for legal purposes. Around the 12th to 13th century the Church declared marriage to be one of the sacraments. Up until then there were many objections to marriage, including things like the exchange of value in a dowry.  How could anything be a sacrament if it involved sex, and how could Jesus institute a sacrament of marriage if it existed long before him?

Marriage was originally a family affair, that later moved to something governed by the state, and then to a sacrament in the church. The Council of Trent required a liturgy and witnesses, and by prohibiting secret marriages they gave the power to the couple alone to commit. Marriage becomes a sacrament when the couple is open to the possibility of commitment and accepts Jesus as part of the union.

This raised an interesting question regarded when the couple is actually married. If the sacrament is satisfied when the couple is open to the possibility of commitment and acceps Jesus into their union, are they then married? The answer was that we as people need to fix a time for this process, which is the marriage ceremony. It was also interesting to note that the Church sacrament includes civil marriage, but that Church annulment does not include civil divorce.

We all agreed that the number of questions and diverse discussions highlighted the reality that there is a lot of confusion about marriage even today. People are basically unclear of the church's position regarding marriage.

We then began a discussion about something referred to as finality. Finality is defined as the orientation that a person (a life, a thing, or a process) has to an end or goal. It’s either horizontal or vertical. Horizontal finality is one dimensional, not jumping to the next higher plane. Vertical finality is about our transcendence in to a life with God. It’s about our participation in a larger, richer, more excellent kind of life.

Finality is our guideline for how we understand marriage and family. In horizontal finality we are concerned with our relationship with our spouse. It includes jobs, friends, and hobbies. In vertical finality we are concerned with how we fit into the parish and our relationship with God.

Vertical finality is not automatic; it means we are cooperating with God's grace in our lives. Sex includes both horizontal and vertical finality. Eating is horizontal in that it keeps us alive, while dining is vertical in that it promotes community. Basically horizontal finality does not include a spiritual dimension, while vertical finality does include a spiritual dimension.

Up until the Council of Trent, the Church considered marriage from the horizontal understanding, and after the Council it understood marriage to have a vertical component. Pope Pius XI was instrumental in changing the understanding and value of marriage. They recongnized a mutual inward molding of the couple, a mutual focus on the needs of others, and changes for the better because of the relationship. I know that I am a better person because of my relationship with my spouse.

Vatican II expanded on this understanding of marriage by focusing on the nobility of marriage and family. The Church’s single purpose for marriage, before Vatican II, is now understood to have multiple purposes. This many faceted love, is structured on the model of Christ's union with the church. Authentic married love is caught up into divine love.

The context for marriage is within the couples love for one another. Christian families share their spiritual riches generously with other families. This love God has judged worthy of special gifts, merging the human with the divine. The unity of marriage radiates from the equal personal dignity of wife and husband.


Children are not a requirement for a marriage to be a valid sacrament. Nevertheless, the Church still insists that “sexual intimacy should always be open to procreation”. Surprisingly, among most religions, it's the Catholics who are the most open concerning homosexual relationships. The challenge today in terms of the theology of marriage is that marriage is a way to holiness.

Vatican II helped us understand marriage as a vocation equal to religious life. As couples we can go forward in building the body of Christ. Sharing the spiritual benefits of sex must be seen in terms of the vertical finality discussed earlier. We can not come into our full human identity without coming into communion with others. This includes loving relationships with and without sex.

In the sacrament of marriage the couple are grace to each other. If we continue to grow in our love for Christ we will continue to grow in our love for our spouse. Christian love instinctively understands that love is greater than death.

No comments:

Post a Comment